Christmas Eve & Six Flags

Holden and Andy

WOW!  It is now Dec 27, and I am finally all alone again.  Jason is at work, and Holden is over at a friend's house.  Today I took Holden and his friend to Six Flags.  My sweet boy experienced what "thrill" means in "thrill ride."  I just wanted to hold him.  That's all I am gonna say about that.

Let's go back to Christmas Eve.  I wanted to get Holden's picture with Santa this year, so we got up early and were at the mall by 8:30 am.  It was not crowded at all, so we didn't have to wait in line.  Isn't he handsome?

Jason thought it would be great to let Holden fill my stocking this year.  So I took Holden to Bath & Body Works and told him that bubble bath would be great.  I asked the sales lady to help him pick out a fragrance, and I stepped back and let him shop.  Then we went to Walgreens and I gave him $20 to get candy and stuff for the stocking.  I stood at the end of the aisle and didn't look at what he was choosing.  At one point he was on the other aisle and yelled, "Mom, they don't have Twix!"  The best part was when he was paying and the total was $19.98!   

We had told Holden that he could open one present on Christmas Eve.  He got his own MP3 player.  We didn't see much of him the rest of the night.  He took a bath WITHOUT being told.  And at 9:00 he came in and told us good night.  He wanted to go to bed early so Christmas morning would come faster.  He had informed me earlier in the day that Dad and I had to be in bed by 10:00 also.  

Jason and I stayed up and took care of last minute Christmas preparations and plopped into bed around 11:00 (shhhhh don't tell Holden).  It was so hard for me to sleep that night.  I kept listening for Holden to get up and walk into the living room.  Finally at 7:00 Christmas morning he stood at our bedroom door and asked, "Can we open presents now?"  He looked so sweet standing there.  

I missed Holden's first 8 Christmas mornings, but I plan on being there for at least the next 9--until he is an adult.  Even then, I hope he will want to be home with Mom and Dad for Christmas mornings.  

Just Have Fun....

It is three days before Christmas and I am home alone!!

Jason and Holden just left to go Christmas shopping for ME!!!

I can just sit here and think about my amazing family!

The last three days have been great.  I had lunch with a dear friend on Wednesday, and she said, "Just have fun."  I have heard that many many times in my head since then.  

 

Wednesday afternoon I got to be the "MOM" instead of the "TEACHER".  I went to Holden's class Christmas Party.  The kids in his class were so polite.  Even after my big behind knocked a bowl of confetti on the ground, they insisted on picking it up and were embarrassed to tell me that it was my fault.  haha  It was really a lot more fun than I expected.  

Holden and I went to lunch, shopping and the movies on Thursday after school.  We just had fun.  We went to see Enchanted.  I think it was a little 'girly' for Holden, but it was cute.  

Now as I sit here in the house alone, it feels strange knowing that my husband and son are Christmas shopping for me!  :)  This will be our first Christmas together as a real family.  Yesterday I spent two hours wrapping all the presents.  I wanted to go back to sleep after Jason left for work but Holden told me to "Wrap some presents, Woman!"  He was ready to see gifts under the tree with his name on them.   

It is so exciting to see him so excited.  He has been counting down the days!  But what I love is that every time I ask him what he is so excited about he says he can't wait to open his gifts.  But he always follows that up with looking forward to celebrating Jesus' Birthday.  Jason and I really want to start some special traditions for our family.  

Only three more days!  I can't wait to watch Holden on Christmas morning!  He will only be a little boy for a few more years, so we must enjoy every moment!!!  

Thank you, Sarah.....I will "just have fun!"

MY SON, the comedian

Let me preface this by giving a little bit of a warning.  I write this completely as an examples of Holden's quick wit.  It will include no offensive language, but will infer it to be spoken--even though it was never spoken as part of the conversation.  With that...please read on....

Last week Holden was really sick.  It was my first experience with a sick child.  He ran a fever for 5 days.  I took Holden to the doctor, and it was a memory I won't soon forget.

The doctor was talking about the antibiotic she was going to write for Holden.  Holden politely interrupted and asked if she would write it for a pill, not a liquid.  "I don't like the taste," he said.  Our doctor was more than willing to do that for him.  When she left the room, I jokingly said something that I learned from a dear teacher I used to work with.  "Holden, you get what you get and you don't have a fit."

Holden looked at me, then turned away, and said, "I won't have a fit, but it will taste like...."  

And he STOPPED TALKING!!!  He did NOT complete the sentence.  I was shocked!!! "HOLDEN JAMES!" I exclaimed like any good mother would.  But then I couldn't help it.  I about died laughing!  

Holden said, "Mom!  I was not going to say that!  I can't believe you'd think that!"  And just smiled while I laughed.  

He was so quick with his response!!!  I have to admit--I was impressed!!  

Holden's Holiday Memory

Today Holden and I spent time working on a writing assignment.  He has missed the last 3 days of school because of this crazy virus he has had.  As a writing teacher, I was actually pretty excited about spending some quality time with Holden working on this and making it fun.  

Homework is rarely fun, and I could see it in Holden's face that he did not want to do this writing assignment, and he did not think it would be fun.  It actually took me about 15 minutes to really pull him in and get him excited.  But once we started planning and writing, he really got into it.  

We decided to write a story about.......well how about I just let you read it.....

         On December 26, I woke up and heard a rumbling in the kitchen.  I walked in the kitchen expecting to see Dad making his morning coffee.  Instead I saw Santa gulping down the entire gallon of milk.  I asked him why he was here.  He said, "Your mom and dad left me as your babysitter while they are on vacation."  I knew this was going to be an extraordinary day.

Santa asked me to help him make breakfast.  We made a giant cookie with chocolate chips filled with hot and creamy fudge, smothered with caramel.  My mom would have a fit if she found out.  We washed it down with lots of milk.  Santa didn't even make me brush my teeth after breakfast which my dad and mom always make me do no matter what.

After breakfast Santa taught me how to fly his sleigh.......

TO BE CONTINUED.......

I am so proud of his use of vocabulary and funny ideas.  I told Him he would have to finish the rest of the story on his own at school.  I will post the rest when he brings it home.  I can't wait to read it!!!

Brand New Way to Praise

Today Holden made his singing debut in church singing a song called "A Brand New Way to Praise".  He got to sing it in both services this morning and tonight at the Children's Christmas Program.  I can't even begin to express how proud I was of him.  He was fabulous!!!  He sang the solo beautifully and had a narrator role telling the story of Christ's birth.  

When he sang the first time this morning, I wanted to shout to the whole church, "That's MY son!"  But of course I restrained myself.  As a teacher for 13 years, I have had several groups perform in school programs, and I thought that was a rush, but they don't compare to the joy in watching MY own son sing about Jesus!  

I must stop and tell you that Holden sang with a 102.3 fever!  When I picked him up from school on Friday night, he was running a fever.  After me being as sick as I was two weeks ago, I didn't want to take any chances.  I took him to the doctor, and they said it was a virus that should be gone in a day or two.  Well Holden has been running a fever all weekend!  But fever or not, he was absolutely amazing today!  Jason told him, "The show must go on!"  Holden sang his heart out and recited his lines like a pro.

Last September when I first started taking Holden to church on Wednesday nights, I never imagined how much of an impact it would make on him.  In the last year and a few months, Holden has made friends at church, gone away to camp, gone to Vacation Bible School, been in three children's programs, and even one of the Sunday morning church videos.  He truly ENJOYS going to church.  Most importantly, on September 19, Holden prayed to receive Christ as his personal Savior.  On September 30, he was baptized to let the world know about his decision.  

Holden is so good at memorizing scripture and being able to quote it weeks after memorizing it.  He truly has hidden away God's word in his heart.  I wish I could say he has Jason or me as role models in this area, but Holden is truly the leader of that in our home.  Jason and I want to follow Holden's example.  

When Holden tried out for the solo and speaking part in this program, he was supposed to memorize a scripture.  He chose to memorize Psalm 100 (the one Teresa read at our wedding).  He memorized it in ONE night, and can recite it to anyone who asks him.  

I have so much respect for this little man.  Holden is an amazing kid.  God has huge plans for our Holden.  As his mother, I hope I can guide him and then get out of the way and let God do His thing.  

On the way home from church Wednesday night, I was telling Holden how proud I was of the job he is doing with his solo and speaking part, and Holden said, "I'm glad you're my mom."  I said, "I am glad you're my son."  He asked me if I wanted to know why he was glad.  I held my breath and said yes.  Holden said, "Because if you weren't my mom, I wouldn't get to go to church like I do, and  I wouldn't be singing in the Christmas program.  I love our church."  

Since becoming Holden's mother, I have made MANY mistakes, but I know the one thing I have done right, is taking my boy to church.  Holden takes in everything at church and asks questions when he doesn't understand.  He even teaches Jason and I new things.  Some of my favorite moments with Holden are when we are in the car and I can hear him in the back seat singing praise and worship music along with the radio.

I have rambled a little with this post, but I am so proud of Holden.  He has matured so much in the last year.  I am so honored to be his mother.  I started out with Holden's song--"A BRAND NEW WAY TO PRAISE".  Well as I watch Holden grow in his walk with Christ, I also have a brand new way to praise.  I can praise God for giving me such an amazing young man as my son!  

My Best Friend--The Rubber Band

November 28th is Teresa's birthday. This year I was laid up in bed with pneumonia and had to call her between naps to wish her a happy birthday. But Teresa's birthday is not what I want to share. I want to brag about her accomplishments.

On November 28th I was in the "Reading Room" again reading our devotional THE WORD FOR YOU TODAY. The title was "The Rubber Band Principle". It was immediately made me think of my dear friend, Teresa.

"All rubber bands work on the same principle---they must be stretched to be effective! Anybody who has ever achieved anything of note, has been stretched to their limit. There are no expectations. One of the most common mistakes is thinking that success in life is due to come genius or some 'special something-or-other' you don't possess. Get rid of that thinking! Success comes when you stretch to meet the challenge; failure comes when you shrink back from it. And stretching makes you vulnerable. When a rubber band is taut, it is much easier to break."

Teresa was not afraid to stretch. She did not shrink back from it, and she did not break!

In less than two weeks, my best friend will graduate from college!!! She didn't do it the easy way. (If there is an easy way). Not to downplay the work I put into college, but I had it easy. My father paid for each semester in cash, and I only had to work part-time with no other responsibilities. Teresa, on the other hand, is finishing her degree at the age of 34. Throughout her college experience, she has gotten married and had two beautiful children.

Teresa serves the Lord daily by keeping a beautiful home, loving her husband, and raising her children up to love Jesus.

I don't know how she has done it, but I have so much respect for my best friend.

Teresa, I love you like you were my own sister! I am so proud of you!

"Straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize."  Philippians 3:13-14

Our First Thanksgiving...

On Wednesday, Holden and I prepared the banana pudding, the hot pineapple casserole, and the sweet potatoes. Holden was a huge help. I enjoyed the time we spent together. He added ingredients while I mixed it all up. I left the toppings to be completed Thursday morning before going to MeeMaw's.

Unfortunately, Thursday morning didn't go quite the way we'd hoped. I woke up in the middle of the night with chills and freezing! I pulled the extra quilt up on me but never got warm. I was running a fever of 102.1 and coughing like crazy. My head was pounding and never could stop shivering. Thanksgiving morning, I knew I wouldn't be able to join Holden and Jason with the family.

I made Holden watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade with me, so we could at least do one thing together as a family that day. I managed to get the toppings on the sweet potatoes and pineapple, but went to bed as soon as the boys left for MeeMaw's. While they were gone my fever went up to 103.6. Jason and I knew something was seriously wrong, but it was Thanksgiving--Nothing was open but the hospitals. I didn't want to do that.

I spent the rest of the weekend in bed coughing and in pain. I went to Care Now, but that was useless...they told me it was a sinus infection. On Monday morning, I got into my own doctor and found out I had a pretty bad case of pneumonia. I have spent the entire week in bed and missed a week of school--again!!

Now that I am coming back to the living world, I am ready to get ready for Christmas. But before I do, I need to be sure I don't forget to share what I am most thankful for.

1. I am thankful for God's grace and mercy. I so don't deserve it, but I get it anyway!
2. I am thankful for the family God has given to me this year!
3. I am thankful for my loving husband, Jason.
4. I am thankful for my amazing son, Holden.

Eighteen months ago, I would have never dreamed that I would be writing this today. God has given me the man and the child of my dreams! I am so blessed!

My Little Bookworm DS

When I first met Jason and Holden, Holden was not a reader. He was a video/computer game kid.
He was supposed to read daily for school, but it wasn't an easy task to get him to read.
His reading consisted of whatever dialogue the video game characters spoke to each other.

I knew that playing video games would probably never be a commonality for Holden and me, but I love to read! Give me a good children's book or great Christian fiction book and I am completely content to cuddle up in bed and read until I fall asleep. I have always been a reader. Some of my best memories as a child were books, even when my mom took away "Forever" by Judy Blume after I read "Chapter 9". I can also remember filling my toy refrigerator and stove with as many books as I could. They were so full sometimes I couldn't even get the doors to shut. I would just dump them all out on the floor and read the same books over and over again.

How could I get this little man who was soon to be my son to love reading as much as I did and do?

I knew that he enjoyed "boy potty humor" so I started buying him CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS books.
Reading about all sorts of bodily functions became a normal part of our evenings for awhile.
As long as poop, farts, and underpants were part of the reading, Holden was entertained.

I slowly introduced him to more "quality" literature. "101 Ways to Bug My Parents" by Lee Wardlaw was the first "real" chapter book he actually read completely. It was a struggle at first. He didn't want to read alone. He didn't want to read for "20 whole minutes". I started out reading to him the entire 20 minutes then transitioning to spending the first 10 minutes reading to him and letting him finish the last 10 minutes. Sometimes tears were involved, but slowly it became a normal part of our evenings.

Once we were officially a family, living in the same home, I was able to set a consistent evening schedule of bath time-reading-and lights out. There is rarely an argument and never tears anymore. Reading is part of Holden's daily life, just like playing games.

The first really good book he read was "Tale of Despereaux" by Kate DiCamillo. This is probably one of my all time favorite children's novels. It is the story of a mouse, a princess, some soup, and a spool of thread. It doesn't get any better than this.
Holden loved it so much; he read the entire book in one weekend. Tonight he even suggested we buy it for his friend's birthday. I was so proud!

When summer came, I wanted trips to the library and reading to continue to be part of our routine. Each summer I try to read several of the Texas Bluebonnet nominees to prepare myself for the new school year. As a mom for the first time, I was excited to share these books with my fourth grader. We took turns reading them and talking about our favorite parts. By the end of the summer Holden and I had both read at least 8 of the 20 nominees. It was nice to have something in common to talk about.

Holden had been asking for a Nintendo DS (handheld game system) for months, but I really didn't want to buy one more game system. Holden talked about saving his allowance and buying it for himself. He already had a Gamecube, an XBox, a Gameboy, and a Wii. I knew that eventually we would get it, but one morning I had a "brilliant" idea. I asked Jason what he thought about challenging Holden to read ALL 20 of the Bluebonnet nominees, and when he finished, we would buy him the DS. Jason agreed that that would be a good deal.

When we presented the idea to Holden, he was ALL FOR IT! I made up a tracking sheet for him to hang in his bedroom. He was so proud every time he checked off another book.

Now some might think that reading to earn something isn't the same as having a love for reading, but if you saw how our boy reads, you wouldn't think that way. He has really enjoyed every one of the 20 books. I think his favorite is "Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo" by Obert Skye. He has EARNED his DS just like we earn money to buy things we want.

A couple of weeks ago he realized that he was only 4 books away from his goal! Owning a DS was actually becoming a reality for him. I told him that if he worked really hard, he might just have it before Thanksgiving. He made a plan that would make it happen. Each day he knew exactly how long he needed to read and how many pages he had to finish. Having a book report due this Friday helped push him along a little bit.

As I watched my little bookworm eat his way through each of those final books, I was so full of pride! He wanted to read! Yes, his initial goal was to get them finished so he would get his DS, but he was reading and he enjoyed it! He has come so far in such a short amount of time. My son loves to read! I love sharing my favorite books with him! I bragged to everyone I know, "MY son is almost finished reading ALL 20 Bluebonnet books!!!"

Tonight he only had about 50 more pages to read in "Firegirl" by Tony Abbott and all of the picture book "Ballet of the Elephants" by Leda Schubert, and he would be FINISHED!!!! After dinner I took him to Barnes and Noble to read "Ballet of the Elephants", On the way he sat in the backseat with his flashlight finishing "Firegirl". By the time we got home, he only had 3 more pages to read!!!

Jason and I had the DS all plugged in and charged up for him. He ran in to get it when he was finished. I have always cringed when I watched him play his video games, but tonight as I went in his room to take pictures of him playing with his new Nintendo DS, I was proud!!! Proud of his accomplishment. Proud of his perseverance. Proud of my son the gamer and reader!!!

I think I did something right!

http://www.txla.org/groups/tba/nominees.html

It Hurts....

Earlier this week I was able to laugh at my mistake.
As the week has continued, I have laughed less and less.
I started to get angry and frustrated and sad.

As I sat in church this morning, I looked around and saw at least 3 round bellies.
It hurt. I finally admitted to myself--I am sad. I wanted to be pregnant.
I wanted to start planning for the arrival of a baby.

This week has been torture. No period, but 5 negatives!!!
I am sure I am not, but it would be so much easier to be back on a regular schedule and move on to next month.
Unfortunately, my body has different plans.

After church we came home and I needed to go lay down and be alone with my thoughts.
I know the answer is--it will happen in God's Time....but I DO NOT want to hear that right now.
I told Jason, that if I was still single, today would have been one of those days that I would have spent in bed all day.
Sleeping, crying, and sleeping some more. That isn't my life anymore.

So I made it though the day. I will make it through tomorrow and the next day.
But I need a day or so to just be sad.

Goodnight My Favorite Mama

Tonight as I went into Holden's room to turn off the TV and tell him it was time for lights out. I noticed the clothes on the bathroom floor, the crumpled up towel on the bathroom sink, and the wide open shower curtain. So the "Mom" in me came out. "Holden, why are your clothes on the floor? Why isn't your towel hung up? Why is the shower curtain not pulled closed? And oh yeah...how do we put dishes in the dishwasher? Then why was your plate in the dishwasher with ketchup and dried up cheese still on it?"

As Holden got out of bed to do everything I asked him to do, I knew he was frustrated. He came in to say good night and was visibly distraught. When asked why he was upset, he said, "Nothing. Can I please just go to bed?" Once he got in bed he called for "Dad." Well, Jason wasn't feeling well, so I said I would go. When I got in Holden's room, he immediately said, "I wanted to talk to Dad." I knew it was to complain about me, but I went in anyway.

I asked him what was bothering him. I need to stop and admit that my flesh was upset that he would be so upset that I told him to do what he already knew what was supposed to be done. But he very maturely asked, "Why does the shower curtain need to be closed?" "Why do I have to hang up the towel?" My initial reaction wanted to be, "Because those are the rules and I said so." But I decided to try what Jason has been trying to get me to do. I explained the reasoning behind it. "The bathroom looks nicer when the shower curtain is closed. The towels will get mildewy and gross if not hung up to dry. It will be dry for you in the morning when you need to use it."

I could tell that because of the tone I was using, just a calm voice to explain it, that Holden was softening and not so frustrated. Then I decided to make it a little silly. I decided to explain why we rinse the dishes. I asked him if he wanted dried old ketchup and cheese with his pancakes tomorrow with his breakfast? Or better yet the old dried Ramen Noodles from Friday night in his scrambled eggs?

Well the giggles started. Holden said, "Mom, lay down with me and let's be silly and talk about gross food."
How could I resist? I crawled up in bed with him and we proceeded to think about all we had eaten this week and how gross our food would be with all the dried up old food all mixed up with tomorrow's breakfast. We were both laughing hard.

Then my sweet boy started playing with my hair, and we talked about what we were gonna go buy tomorrow to put in the shoebox for Samaritan's Purse. I told him to go get my brush so he could brush my hair. He came back empty handed saying he couldn't find it. When I got up to go get it, he tried to stop me and said, "No don't go because you won't come back, and I want to lay with you and be silly."

He wanted my time and laughter, and my first visit started with nagging about picking up this, and hanging up that...blah blah blah....nothing near as important--nothing near as eternal as laying in bed with my precious nine year old son, just being silly.

I came back right away with my brush. He told me to lay down while he brushed my hair and to keep talking about what we were gonna put in the box.

Ten minutes or so later, when I was getting up to leave he said, "Mom, I had fun being silly with you." As I walked out of the room, I heard, "Goodnight My Favorite Mama." I stopped, walked back, and gave him a kiss on the forehead and said, "Good night my favorite son."

WOW...what started out me being a naggy mom, turned into a sweet memory for both of us.

As I started to type this post, I went back in his room and asked, "Remember when I came in your room and immediately began to give you a list of things that you didn't do? He very reluctantly said, "Yeah?" (I think he thought I was gonna start all over again.) But instead I did what my pride has kept me from doing. Instead I said, "Well that was wrong of me and I am sorry." He looked up at me in the dark with his blue eyes and said, "Yeah but then you wouldn't have come back to talk to me, and we never would have had our silly time."

Our little man is wise beyond his years. I hope we will have more of those silly time together...and sometimes--we can leave the clothes on the floor, the towel crumpled up on the sink, and (heaven forbid) the shower curtain wide open.

Good night my favorite son.

Always in Awe

After I wrote my blog yesterday, I was in the "Reading Room" and picked up our daily devotion book--The Word for You Today.
After all the excitement of the morning, I had forgotten to read the Tuesday, November 6 entry.

So as I was preparing to go to bed, I read it. I'd like to share a few thoughts and scriptures:

"It is difficult to see God blessing others while you are forced to wait. But this is not injustice; it's divine order!"

"God may not come when you want Him to but He'll always be on time--if you wait on Him."

"No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11

"His delays are not his denials. He's never said anything He couldn't back up or promised anything He wouldn't deliver. So disregard the circumstances and stand on the Word God has given you!"

WOW!!! God even knew that I would mess up on Tuesday, November 6 and that disappointment would be part of my day when He guided the publishers of this small devotional book. HE LOVES ME THAT MUCH!!!!

Excitement then...disappointment

The night I signed up for this blog I had no idea what the next day would be like.
I woke up wondering--is it possible? So I decided to take a test. Immediately two lines showed up!
One of my wildest dreams has come true! I couldn't get to Jason fast enough!!!
I immediately cried and felt so much excitement and fear!
Jason looked at it and said, "Yep there are definatly two lines."
We were going to have a baby!!!!

I called my mother and couldn't control myself. I was so excited!
I couldn't wait to tell Teresa. I tried to call her several times throughout the day, but her phone was dead.
At 3:45 I was finally able to share my exciting news with my best friend.
I called several people, told a few face to face, and emailed a few long distance relatives.
One special friend was trying to be quiet in Barnes and Noble. She wanted to scream and yell, but managed to stay "calm".
My mom even went shopping!!!!

On the way home I called Jason and we decided to tell Holden that night.

But then, I started to doubt myself. I got online and looked up the directions for the test.
My first reaction was, OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE??? I READ IT WRONG!!!
The first circle is supposed to have a horizontal AND a vertical...not just a horizontal....
No baby...
I just laughed. What a BLONDE!!! I called Jason and told him. He thought I was kidding.
I have never felt like more of an idiot on my life!!!
I knew I had to take another test just to make sure...but this time one that said clearly---PREGNANT--or--NOT PREGNANT
Within a few minutes it was confirmed, I had made a HUGE mistake!!! It clearly said, NOT PREGNANT!!

Jason asked me later, "What made you look up the directions and double check?"
I immediately knew the answer..."GOD" We were going to tell Holden.
God's Promises Kept! He loves our little man so much, he protected him from the excitement of thinking he would be a big brother only to deal with the pain of finding out-"Oops, Mom messed up."

What did I learn for this? Well, many people have said, don't tell everyone so quickly. But that is not my personality. I show my excitement without holding back. Yes, I had to go back and take care of "damage control". But I have gotten a good laugh at myself. I will never forget and this will be a funny story to tell forever. So the most important thing I take from this experience is--I will never throw the directions away before using all the tests in a box.

People have asked me several times, "Are you okay?" I am amazed that I am. I wasn't devastated. I didn't cry. I was disappointed and a little sad, but I just laughed. I made a mistake.

Today is another day....I am not pregnant....but I am still loved. God has a perfect plan for our family. When the time is right, we will have another morning full of excitement.