It Hurts....

Earlier this week I was able to laugh at my mistake.
As the week has continued, I have laughed less and less.
I started to get angry and frustrated and sad.

As I sat in church this morning, I looked around and saw at least 3 round bellies.
It hurt. I finally admitted to myself--I am sad. I wanted to be pregnant.
I wanted to start planning for the arrival of a baby.

This week has been torture. No period, but 5 negatives!!!
I am sure I am not, but it would be so much easier to be back on a regular schedule and move on to next month.
Unfortunately, my body has different plans.

After church we came home and I needed to go lay down and be alone with my thoughts.
I know the answer is--it will happen in God's Time....but I DO NOT want to hear that right now.
I told Jason, that if I was still single, today would have been one of those days that I would have spent in bed all day.
Sleeping, crying, and sleeping some more. That isn't my life anymore.

So I made it though the day. I will make it through tomorrow and the next day.
But I need a day or so to just be sad.