Trusting HIM

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  Proverbs 3:5

I memorized that verse when I was in Junior High at Hume Lake.  It was the last week of June every summer.  The week I looked forward to all year long.  But this verse has stuck with me for the last 25+ years.  Today it is more meaningful to me than ever.

A week ago today I got a call from my doctor's office.  My blood work revealed that I am not ovulating.  This medically explains why we have not gotten pregnant yet.  

As devastated as I was, I know that there is a bigger explanation.  Bigger than any medical tests can prove.  It is very simple....it hasn't been God's plan for us yet.  As hard as that is...I don't think before now we were really prepared.  Is anyone ever really prepared?  But we didn't have a room for a baby.  Now that we are in the house we have a room.  That is important, but that doesn't necessarily mean that God will say, "We'll that's all I was waiting for.  Here's your baby."  :)

But now we are seriously going to start steps to solve any medical issues.  A year ago, my doctor told me to give it a year and if I wasn't pregnant to come back for some tests.  I began those tests a little over two weeks ago.  I am proud to say, my sweet hubby is completely healthy.  I never imagined it would be me.  

The current issue we face can be easily solved with the right medication.  I started taking Clomid on Tuesday.  I have another test today.  We are praying that there is nothing else "in the way" (literally),  but as we go through this I am trusting that Jesus has the perfect plan for our family.  He is in control.  

Yesterday Holden and I were leaving to go get stuff for his birthday party, and he saw me take the pill.  He asked me what it was for.  Jason and I believe that we need to be totally honest with him, so I explained to him in the simplest way I knew how.  He seemed a little concerned and asked if I would have to have surgery.  I told him that I didn't know much more about it other than the medications.  But I reminded him that God is in control and it will happen when God is ready.  I also told him that if having a baby isn't part of God's plan for our family, then we would still have him.  Then my sweet boy looked up and said, "Please God make it part of your plan."  

So as we all pray for a new miracle of life to show itself in our little home, I am going to continue to "Trust in the LORD with all my heart" and repeat Holden's prayer.  "Please God make it part of your plan."